Finally Posting as a Free Person

Fear is a funny thing. It has kept me from writing so often. I fear writing my thoughts. Though they are valid and mine, I fear sharing because I fear what others will think of them. Will you approve of me? Will you hate me if we disagree?

 

But the truth is, my thoughts are just that, my thoughts. Random thoughts, in fact, on life and God. God cannot be separated from from my thoughts. Nor do I think they should be torn apart--it's how I think. And that's okay. My thoughts and your thoughts do not have to be the same.

 

My journey is different from yours. So my ways of doing life does not have to be yours. Let's not read too deeply into them, okay?

 

Now with that said, I welcome you here. Jump in and let's journey together. I want to hear you. So feel free to interact. Just enter into the conversation. It will be fun. I miss the blogging days of old when we actually had a community through our comments. But then the world of Facebook kinda ruined it. And at first we thought it would be even better, more intimate. But it has proven false. I think it has been easier to scroll and like. Forgetting what rich community we had.  But we got sucked in anyway.

 

Ok, so with that said, I'll just share what is not on Facebook. On Facebook you see my family smiling and having a super good time because I post those pics. But those are not the true reality. We have a hard time getting along, actually. It takes a lot of death to self. In fact, I couldn't even convince one child to get a picture with me and Beauty and the Beast--my all time heroes. So I almost ended up doing it myself which is awkward. But getting along takes true work. We fight for it.

 

We have chronic pain, adhd, brain injury, autism, anxiety and random personality quirks working together. We really annoy one another. In fact, I don't think that there is a time where there isn't some sort of fight that breaks out. Facebook doesn't depict this. Instead it shows our perfect fake life.

 

I get weary of it more than not--doing family life. I want to throw in the towel. Yet, God is the one who set the example of dying to self, even to the point of death on a cross. So could it be that my family is the best possible family for me because it has that effect every day? Do the pictures depict that? Nope. Not one bit. But here is the truth. And if you are honest, your family is not perfect either. You probably struggle just as I do but guess what,  we have hope in Christ. That in doing life together, we will be forced to look to Him, even in desperation, and as we behold Him we are told we are transformed more into His image! How amazing is that?

 

So I'm really sorry if you have the perfect family, one that doesn't push you to the point of desperation and an outcry to Christ. If this is you, you are just on a completely different journey than mine and it doesn't make you better or worst. I just don't understand your life. So don't run, share. I can learn from you as well. And I'm guessing if you are here reading and thinking about how you cannot relate to me then you are a person with a glass half full kind of personality. And that's cool. Again, I just don't understand you. But I'm willing to learn. Either way I'm thankful for what I have. Are you? I hope so because God says living in thankfulness is part of the answer of living in good mental health. And boy do I need help there! :)

 

Maybe you do too. So stick around, comment, join in the journey. Let's do life together. And consider how we can encourage one another. Because that's as honest as it can get.

 

Yet, don't get me wrong, even though we really annoy one another as a family, we probably fiercely love one another even more deeply. Now isn't that crazy? I suppose it is because we are learning the art of repentance, forgiveness and humility. And these things are beautiful in a family. More beautiful than the "picture-perfect" life.

 

So stop buying into the lie of that picture perfect life. It really doesn't exist here and now. And that's okay. We are journeying home and the situations we are in are the best possible situations to teach us Christ-likeness and draw us to Christ and isn't that the most important God-given gift for this world? Isn't that great?! I think so.

24

05.07.2018

Fear